Based On A True Story! The book that the C.I.A. don't want you to read! I would not recommend this book to anybody - Senior C.I.A. Agent (not his real name). I laughed so much I had loose stools for a week! – DIY FURNITURE ASSEMBLER I on the other hand became quite vexed and did not laugh one iota. I have recommended the author for psychiatric evaluation. Consequently my stools remain firm and trouble free. - AUTHOR'S G.P. If only this book had been around in my day, just think what I might have achieved! - ALEXANDER THE GREAT (Could have been greater). More comedy per square metre than other books of comparable size. - ATTILA THE HUN Perfect for those long, tiresome journeys! - JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS Sutton should be struck off the Writers Register if there is one! If there isn't, there should be, so that he can be struck off it. I will raise a petition and submit it to the relevant ombudsman. If there isn't one, there should be. Where the hell is Prince Charles when you need him? - FATHER A. WAY, Catholic Church, Limpopo River. KWAI CHANG CAINE (GRASSHOPPER) - I am a man of peace, as everybody knows. But I nearly peaced my kung-fu pants laughing at this book! I was lost for words! - HARPO MARX I'm his biggest fan! – ROBERT WADLOW. (8'4")
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About The Author Grant Sutton (not his real name) lives in Godalming (not a real place), Surrey. He is married to an Eskimo who is a direct descendant of Genghis Khan. He has been a bodyguard for Hilary Clinton's lobster and is on handshaking terms with a werewolf. He has worked for the Foreign and Commonwealth Office and once declined a medal from the Queen. He has worked in a glue factory in Oldham (Home of the tubular bandage) and has been to a nudist colony with a Princess on a bicycle.(Not in Oldham). He has rubbed shoulders with the Worlds top dignitaries (As a masseuse in a Berlin brothel) and is a distant relative of a senior Capone gang member. He has hunted pirates in the Indian Ocean and tried his hand at bodybuilding (He intends to try the rest of his body soon). He has been stuck in an elevator with Pele and been ignored at the Beverley Hills Polo Lounge by John Cleese and Ricky Gervais. At least Pele smiled politely. He has twice appeared in theatre wearing nothing but a G String, only once legally. (The author, not Pele!) "Plankton Soup Second Helpings" is the follow up to his first book, the soon-to-be-a-blockbusting-movie (any day now, surely!) "Plankton Soup" and he intends to write many more, unless arrested in the meantime.
